EIA:Napoleon rox

French Ministry of War sponsored advertising

The age of the feudals is over! Get your own Napoleon!

Tired of watching your lousy infantry and cavalry vanish in an instant as a result of a poor moral and generals? Has the pathetic morale of 2 for cavalry got you down? Why risk those precious land assets when you can take advantage of the world's best army and general:

Napoleons La Grande Armee!

For a reasonable fee, these sissypants from Paris, escorted by hordes of cavalry and Guard, can be yours to field in your next tussle with the riff-raff of Europe. Handled with skill they can turn a hopeless situation into victory and leave your enemy scratching his head as he stands over the bodies of his hapless footsloggers. Special Offer! Napoleon is now available ABSOLUTELY FREE for use against the German reich anywhere in the world. Remember our motto: "Get us to Berlin and we'll do the rest!"

Call Now! 1-800-MyNapoleon

"Napoleons La Grande Armee -- The most effective way to wage war"

(Small print legal disclaimer: Napoleon is not available for use if the french see the player as unreliable and traitorous. Turkey is not responsible for atrocities performed on local populations by bored frenchmen. It is completely our fault.)